Wishing for a "Do-Over" on a Few Things

We all have them. Regrets. Times/stages of our lives/events that we wish we could go back and do differently, if only we had the opportunity. You're right to believe that I have had and continue to have a wonderful, blessed life -- no doubt about it. But, there are a few things coming to mind today that, with the experience, the maturity, and the perspective of living to age 61, I know I would gladly accept a "do-over," if it were to be offered. Some will seem trivial to you, and you might even disagree with a few of them. But, I'm just sharing from MY background and frame of reference.

1) I would have watched carefully and taken lots of notes when my maternal grandmother and my Mom made dressing on Thanksgiving. I have never been able to duplicate it, and it was THE best. Everything was cooked ahead of time -- pans of cornbread with the onions and celery baked right in, the pieces of turkey, the boiled eggs, etc. All of the ingredients were crumbled together while the flavors blended and then at the last minute piping hot chicken broth was added to make it warm, moist and scrumptious. Both ladies are in Heaven now, and I've yet to find a recipe like it. Oh, how I wish I'd paid more attention.

2) I wish I had NOT dated the same boy all through high school. I knew he wasn't "the one." My parents and friends begged me to consider other possible dates. But, I stubbornly refused and then ironically broke up with him the week of our high school graduation. I could have had so much more fun. Sigh. I would most definitely like to have those years back.

3) I would have spent more time delighting in the deliciousness of my children's distinctiveness while they were growing up in our home. (Can you tell that I love alliteration?) :) Each of them came from the same parents, went to the same church and schools, lived in the same houses, but they had such unique personalities/talents/gifts/quirks/tastes/opinions/preferences, etc. I didn't enjoy or celebrate that nearly enough. A Do-Over, please.

4) As much as I loved and still love my children, I wish I had given Steve more of my undivided attention and devotion when the kids were in their young years, especially when they were babies, toddlers, preschoolers. Even though it seemed that 90% of my energy was used up on the demands and needs of small children, I should have done more to show them AND Steve that he was my #1 priority. I'm still not sure HOW I would have done this, but, nevertheless, I wish I could go back and give it a more valiant effort. Thanks for loving me anyway, hon.

5) I wish I had said "No" more often to positions in the church which didn't fit my spiritual gifts. Too many times I said "Yes" wrongly thinking, "If I don't do this, it won't get done." When, in reality, my trying and often fumbling and failing in those jobs, prevented someone who WAS spiritually-qualified from being able to exercise their own gifts and abilities. The times I had the opportunity to work in areas of my spiritual giftedness were some of the best times I ever had in church. They were the most fun and never felt like work or drudgery. Spiritual gifts are different from learned skills or talents, by the way. I spent YEARS playing the piano or organ, but those were times of contributing my talents, not necessarily times of exercising my SPIRITUAL gifts.

6) I wish I had taken art classes when I was teaching art, and I wish I had been a member of a wonderful choir while I was directing choirs myself. I've realized this last one just recently. Even though I didn't have any particular training in art, the job description during the last 9 years that I taught public school music included teaching art (Fine Arts were just all lumped together). I did my very best and used every resource I could find, but now I know that the most benefit would have been my personal participation in art classes -- being a student with a "real artist" for a teacher. Also, I've had the privilege since January of this year, to sing in a wonderful church choir under the direction of an excellent choral musician. It would have been so helpful to have watched him on Sundays and Wednesdays and then let what we adults did filter down to my elementary chorus students. They would have done a better job because I would have done a better job.

Well, I'm not expecting a Time Machine to drop down out of the sky that will allow me to go back and "fix" my mistakes. I just thought I'd share them, so maybe if you're in any of these stages or times, you can learn from what I did wrong.

On the other hand, there is a positive way of looking at each of these 6 events.

1) I might not be able to make my Mom's dressing, but I did watch and learn from her communication skills, and as a result I believe (with Steve as my witness) that I could carry on a conversation with just about anyone at anytime. Thanks, Mom, for the great example.

2) I didn't do so well in the dating department in high school, but I had a fantastic experience in college. Such wonderful young men and so many fun times. I did learn from my mistake.

3) I failed to enjoy my children's differences enough when they were little, but I adore their specialness now and marvel at the ways God is choosing to use them.

4) Steve and I have had 12 years since the last child got married and officially left the nest. That means I've had some time to give him my full attention, and I think he's forgiven me for giving him the "crumbs" when we were in the diaper-changing/sleepless nights/ear infections/runny noses stage of our marriage.

5) I'm praying that a place of service in my new church will be found that utilizes my spiritual gifts, and I am willing to wait patiently.

6) I've taken several art classes lately, and I'm faithful about choir rehearsals. I really enjoy just making a contribution from the alto section and letting someone else be completely in charge. This ol' gal still has a lot to learn and enjoys adding wrinkles to her brain, rather than to her face. Ha!

FRUIT PIZZA

Fruit Pizza can be made anytime of the year, but with the wonderful assortment of fruits available right now, it just seems to scream "SUMMERTIME!" There are dozens of different versions of this yummy dessert (which could possibly be put in the category of Healthy Eating -- if you stretch your imagination). I could have made this look very patriotic by using only strawberries and blueberries, but since I was in a hurry to serve this when Steve comes in from a long day of work on Memorial Day, here is what he'll be getting.

FRUIT PIZZA

1 refrigerated roll of sugar cookie dough (or make your own dough from scratch, if you prefer)

1 8-oz. pkg. of cream cheese

1/2 c. granulated sugar

2 t. vanilla

Assorted fruits of your choice cut into bite-size pieces: strawberries, kiwi, red grapes (shown above), green grapes, pineapple chunks, blueberries, peaches, bananas, Mandarin oranges, etc.

1/2 c. of peach preserves (or apricot preserves or orange marmalade, depending on what you have on hand)

Slice the cookie dough into thin slices and place in your pizza pan. Then, with a little flour on your fingers, mash this into something resembling a pizza crust. Bake at 350-degrees for about 20 minutes or until VERY lightly browned.

Beat together the cream cheese, sugar and vanilla and spread it on the cooled crust.

Arrange the fruit in a pleasing way (grandchildren would be excellent for this job).

Place the peach preserves into a microwaveable bowl and heat for 30-40 seconds, long enough to make it a consistency which can be drizzled over the top of the fruit.

Refrigerate until serving time and cut into generous slices. It's fruit, after all. :)

Stylin' to Start Week Two

Well, now. How's that for an improvement in footwear??

Tomorrow begins Week #2 of my get-up-and-get-movin' Couch to 5k goal of participating in a 5k event before I cash my first Social Security check. I'm now down to 50 weeks remaining to accomplish my task. Never let it be said that I failed because I set an unreachable goal. :)

The results from Week One are very positive.

---I got on the treadmill 6 out of 7 days this week, increasing speed and time as I went along.

---I did some actual sweating.

---And I found and purchased the best athletic shoes I've ever owned.

What were the keys to my first week's success?

1) My Facebook support network and accountability partners. My goodness, I had a cheering section from Morgan County to Argentina!! I can't let them down, now can I?

2) The Nook Color that Steve gave me for my birthday. It's amazing how much longer I'll stay on that treadmill when I'm engrossed in a good book. The touchscreen is so easy, and I can make the type as large as I need to.

3) Steve's full financial and moral support for buying these rather expensive, but oh-so-comfortable shoes. Thank you, hon. I even got some great new non-cotton socks. Who knew THAT was important? I pause here for a commercial message. Fleet Feet in Huntsville is a very helpful business. They have a trained staff who can guide you in getting the right shoes for your gait and specific foot issues. The staff member who helped me was Kay. She watched me walk, and then got me on a treadmill and used their technology to analyze what she saw. . . . and I didn't feel embarrassed with the process. A biggie. I would recommend them highly. I've never had really great shoes before. Who knows? I may need to actually get out in public and show them off. :)

I will consider Week Two a success if I'm actually able to complete the REAL Workout #1 on the Couch to 5k Plan, rather than just building up my endurance. I'm going to have to really push myself to make that happen. Who knows what I might be able to accomplish with some cute little workout shorts and cool-looking t-shirt?!

The most natural key Bible verse to represent my personal physical improvement project? Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God."

I Knew the Look

This morning as the choir gathered to warm-up and rehearse before the worship service, I noticed a woman I hadn't seen before standing in the doorway. At first I thought she was needing to get the attention of someone in the choir in order to give them a message. When she continued to stand there, I thought she must have been drawn by the music and just wanted to listen. My good buddy Betty who sits on my right leaned over (during appropriate musical rests, of course) and said, "That's Ryan's (the director's) mother. She's 80 pounds soaking wet." I looked at her more closely and immediately noticed something familiar that caused a lump in my throat as tears gathered in my eyes. I said, "I know how that feels." My surprised buddy to my left (who is actually a former student from years past and is always ready for some merriment and teasing) had heard our conversation and said, "You know how it feels to be 80 pounds soaking wet?" Bless her heart. No wonder she felt the need for clarification!! I managed to choke out (remember we're still singing during all of this and the waterworks have begun to gush), "Well, maybe when I was 10 years old. But what I really understand is what she's feeling as she watches Ryan." Buddy-on-the-left "got it" quickly and said, "I'm looking forward to watching my children when they are old enough to carry out the ministry God has for them to do."

Mrs. Leffel lives several states away and rarely has the opportunity to watch her son do the work that God has ordained for him. Several times a year she gets to visit with him, with his wife, and with his two beautiful little boys, but that's different from watching him be completely in his element, doing with excellence that for which he has both the training and the calling. She was drinking in the sight of her boy and no doubt feeling at least a tiny part of what God the Father must have felt looking down from His throne in heaven when His Son Jesus was being baptized by John the Baptist.

I have had a "look" similar to Mrs. Leffel's often as my children have grown into such amazing adults. I watch Laura enjoying her children and discovering their unique personalities. I love listening to her laugh on a video of Nathan riding a camel and seeing her delight in the privilege of dressing up her 2-year-old Megan in tons of lace and frills. I'm in awe as I watch her teach advanced mathematics classes using the latest in on-line technology, and I'm humbled at the sight and sound of her on her knees voicing a fervent prayer on behalf of a dear friend when we visited recently in her Sunday School class. She's fun to watch in the kitchen whipping up yummy recipes, and she's an exemplary wife.

I marvel at the patience and strength God has given Julie with her four young daughters, as she strives with diligence and determination to understand how each child is wired and to guide them "in the ways they should go." I was inspired seeing her take everything necessary to a muddy strawberry patch recently for Maggie's birthday party because she knew how much Maggie loved strawberries and that by making these efforts she could create what Maggie would later call "the best day ever!" All of this while being 8 months pregnant with Baby Samuel. Julie constantly affirms her husband and is a good friend to many. She sets a great example for others to follow.

I dearly love being "the preacher's Momma" when we visit Wynne Baptist Church in Wynne, Arkansas. It is a thrill to my soul to watch Matt preach the word of God with skill and passion, and I readily confess that in spite of the fact that I've heard sermons for 61 years now, he always teaches his Momma something new. I enjoy knowing that he takes his wife out on dates regularly and that he, too, studies his sons to know best how to help them become the best they can be. I am so happy with the close relationship Matt has with Steve, and I adore his funny personality and his ability to mimic, tease, listen, connect and bring laughter, while also having a soft, caring, missionary heart for his family, his friends, and for lost people all over the world.

As I watched Mrs. Leffel this morning, both in the choir room and in the congregation later, I thought of all these things about my own children. But, then I began to wonder if my Heavenly Father has had any reasons to look at me with pride and love recently and to say, "Well done."

God wants to watch me "in my element." He wants to see me still carrying out the ministries for which He equipped me. He created me to praise and worship Him. Am I doing that in a way that pleases Him? He still has me on earth for a reason. Am I fulfilling His purpose and His desires for my life?

Thank you, Mrs. Leffel, for reminding me of all these things today, just with your countenance. I can assure you that your son has a wonderful ministry in our church and that all of those years of music lessons and college tuition are being used for God's glory.

Wrong Shoes. Right Heart. Day One.

Today's weight: Too much

Today's clothing size: Too large

Today's exercise/activity level: Almost non-existant

Today's new goal: Participate in a 5K run before I cash my first Social Security check. :)

Today's impediment to this goal: None

My dear husband, Mr. World's Most Self-Disciplined Man, wants me to KEEP growing old with him, and that means doing MY part to make that happen -- knowing that it is ultimately up to God. I am one week past by 61st birthday. We are consciously eating more healthily. Getting me to move more is the next big hurdle.

I have finally found a method/program with a catchy title that APPEARS to be achievable for me. It's called "Couch to 5K." Goodness knows, I've spent plenty of time on couches, or recliners, or rocking chairs, or padded seats of all kinds. I justify it by saying I've been "exercising my mind." And, yes, I DO read, study, plan, and communicate a lot. And, yes, I admit that every day that includes plenty of physical activity produces sharper and clearer thinking. But, as my beloved PE teacher, Mrs. Rosalie Stephenson, can testify, I am lacking in ALL skills related to sports. I kept a good grade point average in high school and college by diligently showing up to PE class on time, by wearing a recently-laundered gym suit and a smile, and by trying very, very hard. Yes. I was the kid who was always picked near the very end when "the captains" chose their teams. The only reason I wasn't chosen dead last was because I had some nice friends. :)

I love sedentary activities -- reading, sewing, writing, researching, talking, playing Rook and Dominoes, having lunch with friends, having dinner with friends, and yes, having breakfast/brunch with friends or family -- and I don't "sweat pretty."

I also love cooking, EATING, reading cookbooks and discovering new recipes. Would you believe it? The 2nd book I downloaded on my new Nook Color (a birthday gift from Steve) was a COOKBOOK! He'd have a fit if he knew. I already have cabinets and shelves crammed full of them.

This is not the best time to start a new project. It's a Tuesday, for heaven's sakes, and not a Monday. It's the 24th of the month, not the 1st. My "recreational shoes" are horrible -- they looked like such a good deal at the outlet store where I found them -- but I can't stop right now and get anything better. It's now or never.

Happily, I DO have a treadmill (thanks to the generosity of a skinny friend), so I don't have to begin this plan with an audience. And, "Couch to 5K" has a handy-dandy treadmill version that I have printed out, ready to go. The treadmill happens to be in our bonus room which we only heat and cool when we have company. Steve, however, graciously gave me permission to set the thermostat at whatever temperature I needed in order to follow-through with this plan. Bless him.

Today's the day. I've procrastinated long enough. I'm out of excuses. Feel free to hold me accountable and ask how I'm doing. Expect weekly reports. Up and at 'em.

60. . . 61 . . . .

Isn't it amazing what all can happen between birthdays, and even more so between DECADES?

The above picture shows me with my 60th birthday cake, almost exactly one year ago. The night before, all the Pearsons (except Laura's husband David and daughter Megan) had gathered at Mid-America Seminary in Memphis to watch as Matt received his Ph.D. Then, for my birthday Steve treated all of us to lunch at Rendezvous for delicious ribs and barbecue.
Matt's sisters were proud of their brother and didn't even mind telling him so.
And, just look at this gorgeous line up of grandchildren present for the event. That's Rosie in the carrier. She is now 15 months old and has a baby brother due in a couple of weeks. As I think about all that has happened since these pictures were made, I couldn't help but think about other decades in my life and what I was doing during each of those stages.

From age 10. . . . to age 11 . . . . My family and I moved from Athens, AL to Troy, AL, from everything familiar to everything unfamiliar. From an insulated family of five to a Goldfish Bowl with 200 on-lookers.

From 20. . . to 21 . . . . I married the man God chose specifically for me and transferred from Samford (Christian, small, familiar) to Auburn (secular, big, imposing). From carefree singlehood to marriage.

From 30 . . . to 31 . . . . Our three children were ages 7, 3 and 2, I was teaching piano to a HOST of students and had a major responsibility every time I walked in the doors of FBC Hartselle (or so it seemed to me at the time).

From 40 . . . to 41 . . . . I was teaching public school music, our firstborn was in her last years of high school, Steve's business was finally solid and successful, and still I had many responsibilities (now thought of more as opportunities) at church. Our first international mission trip was yet to happen.

From 50 . . . to 51 . . . . Our nest was empty and Grandchild #1 arrived -- our amazing Allie Grace. I was teaching at Danville-Neel, among great friends, and was the organist at Central Baptist in Decatur. By this time, we had gone to Brazil, Guatemala, South Korea, Ecuador, Belize, Kenya and Venezuela on mission trips and loved each country, its people and the ministries we were allowed to facilitate.

Now I've just completed the year between age 60 and 61. The year had its share of major events just as other decade years before it.

1) I retired from teaching.

2) Steve had emergency surgery, and God was present through every minute of the crisis.

3) We moved into our house on the river, back to Limestone County where my life began.

4) We found a new church home (First Baptist Athens) with lots of lovely and loving new friends.

5) All the children and grandchildren gathered for both Thanksgiving AND Christmas. Yay!

6) Allie turned 10, Luke turned 6 (TODAY!), Nathan turned 5, Seth and Maggie both turned 4 (Maggie just yesterday), Megan and Penelope turned 2, and Rosie turned 1.

7) Steve and I celebrated our 40th anniversary.

What a great year!

I'm EXPECTING another wonderful year of watching the children thrive and the grandchildren blossom. I'm looking forward to another year of laughter and love with my dear Steve. And, I'm certain that I will see God's hand at work throughout each day and each challenge.

I can't help but wonder what I will type when I've reached 70. . . to 71. . . . , 80. . . to 81 . . . ., 90. . . 91. . . . and (gulp) 100. . . to 101. I'm pretty sure I can't blog from heaven, nor would I want to with all of that amazing praising going on. Age 61? Here I am, waiting for my assignment(s).

In the meantime, the weather is getting mighty nice outside. Come and join me for a glass of sweet tea or some lemonade.

We Go WA-A-AY Back

I actually can't believe that the waitress just took one photo, and we all managed to have our eyes open with decent looks on our faces. It must have had something to do with the sopapillas we'd just finished. :)

The three beautiful women with me in this picture have been a part of my consciousness for as long as I can remember. Dixie Harrison, seated, is my first cousin. June Street, on my right, is my aunt (although she's six months younger than I am). Ginger Murphy, on my left, is my 2nd cousin, but I've always considered her to be a much closer relative than that. We came into the world between May of 1950 to May of 1952. We were little girls together, and we shared holidays and family births, deaths, weddings, picnics and whatever else we or our parents could think up. From a "blood" perspective, we share one primary common relative -- Queenie Leola Griggs Rose, who was June's mother, Ginger's aunt, and mine and Dixie's grandmother.

One of our strongest bonds is music. Three of us actually have college degrees in music and have taught piano or voice for years, besides leading church choirs or accompanying for them. The other had years of piano lessons and giggled her way through many-a-duet during the dreaded recitals.

Between us, we have 9 children (ranging in age from 37 to 17), 17 grandchildren (from age 15 to 3 weeks from being born), and 3 remaining parents who are now in their 80's. We are all card-carrying Southern Baptists. These facts alone should give us plenty of material for conversation, but just think of all the extended family members we have in common and whose "stories," personalities, issues, and quirks provide share-worthy material.

Getting us together is a lot like herding cats because of the various paths we each travel and the demands on our time. So, yesterday when we found ourselves in one place for a couple of hours -- Rosie's Mexican Restaurant celebrating Cinco de Mayo -- it was a rare, delightful time for us all.

Our moaning and groaning over age-related aches and pains has definitely increased in the last twenty years, but there are still things we continue to do that we did as little girls -- share secrets, exaggerate our tall tales, laugh a lot, and fight back tears. Our ancestors are legendary for being soft-hearted.

There were years when we were great geographical distances apart -- California, South Florida, South America, etc. But, at this stage of our lives, we're within an hour's drive of each other, so I hope we can find times to connect more often.

I wonder what our picture will look like 20 years from now. Will somebody please roll our wheelchairs to a cozy corner when we can no longer do it for ourselves? This Quartet (1st and 2nd soprano, 1st and 2nd alto) needs to keep laughing and loving for a long time to come.