Sunsets, Sunflowers, and Sage Sayings from Proverbs

"A tranquil heart is life to the body" Proverbs 14:30a

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Prov. 16:24
"A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!" Prov. 15:23

"Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness." Prov. 16:21b
"A joyful heart is good medicine" Prov. 17:22a

"A joyful heart makes a cheerful face" Prov. 15:13a
"A gentle answer turns away wrath" Prov. 15:1a

"A soothing tongue is a tree of life" Prov. 15:4a

"A cheerful heart has a continual feast." Prov. 15:15b

And one that always makes me smile -- "Good news puts fat on the bones." Prov. 15:30b

CLEANSED

Over a month ago, I put the word "CLEANSE" on my calendar for Tuesday, April 12, 2011. My first-ever colonoscopy was scheduled for the day after, so I began dreading the clear liquids and horrible-tasting, clean-you-out stuff that had to be consumed in large quantities at various points preceding my arrival for the test. Generally, "cleanse" is a good word, especially when you're referring to housekeeping chores, teeth-brushing, make-up removal, and the like. But, this kind of cleanse was what everyone referred to as "by far the worst part of a colonoscopy." The kind where you don't dare leave the house and you wear very loose clothing.

The closer I got to April 12th, the more the Lord convicted me that I needed another kind of cleansing, too. A spiritual cleansing. A time of confession and seeking forgiveness. A day when my slate could be wiped clean and God could hear my prayers again. The vast majority of my prayer time had been consumed with thanksgiving and intercession, with precious little else other than a cursory "and forgive me of my sins." I knew the list had begun to really mount. I could feel it in my soul.

So, last Tuesday morning, after a breakfast of iced tea and jello, I read my Scripture passages for the day, and then I sat still with my notebook turned to a fresh page, my pen poised, and my heart ready to hear from God. I asked God to convict me and to remind me of all the sins in my life that had not been confessed.

I was claiming two verses in particular:

Psalm 32:5 "I acknowledged my sin to Thee, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and Thou didst forgive the guilt of my sin.'"

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

The conviction began quickly. God brought to my mind overt sins, attitudes that were offensive to Him, promises I had failed to keep, people who were not seeing a consistent Christian walk from me, actions that I had justified as "okay" but that He considered wasteful and ungodly. My pen flew, and the pages quickly filled. With a heavy heart, I got up to do other things for awhile, but the conviction continued. I found that not having food or eating on the front burner of my mind allowed me to focus on more important aspects of my life, and I could hear His voice more clearly. Isn't that why He wants His children to fast?

Throughout the day, as sins (yes, call them what that are, SINS) were brought to my mind, I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me, and I have the assurance that as He looked into my heart and saw true repentance, then His forgiveness erased my sins -- not the consequences of them, but the guilt of them.

By the end of that 24-hour period, I was physically cleansed and spiritually cleansed. I hope the physical aspect will be an impetus toward better eating habits, and the spiritual effect will cause me to confess and seek forgiveness often. I want the lines of communication between my Abba Father and me to be completely free, clear, and constantly open. Just as I long to hear His voice, I desire for my prayers to be unhindered.

After my colonoscopy, the doctor told Steve (because I was "out of it") that I didn't have to come back for another one for 10 years. That's supposed to be good news from a medical standpoint, but can you imagine how muddled, even destroyed, my communication with God would be if I waited 10 years to confess my sins again? My physical goal will be more fiber and less fat. My spiritual goal will be DAILY confession and cleansing from sin made possible by the death and resurrection of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Selah.

So Many Seasons in my Rearview Mirror

You don't reach the age of 60 without going through many seasons of life. Some I have glided through gracefully, while others have been survived with weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. A few have been barely tolerated, but then there were those that were deliciously savored and reluctantly bidden farewell.

My early childhood, as a product of the innocent 1950's, was enjoyed in a way I could only dream about for my own children and grandchildren. So little television and technology. So much family time and playing outside. The above picture is one of my favorites. In case you see no possible resemblance to the way I look today, I am the one sitting cross-legged on the chair. My Grandmother Rose is holding my little brother Andy and my cousin Dixie, and my Granddaddy Rose is holding my Aunt June. Yes, my grandparents added their 6th child six months after I (their first grandchild) was born. We lived next door to them when I was age 5 until about 9, and their house was THE gathering spot on all holidays and every Sunday afternoon. My granddaddy was a well-respected barber in the City of Athens, who never owned a car, and my grandmother had severe motion sickness so she was the epitome of a stay-at-home mom. She was an awesome cook. Awesome. Not much money, but somehow there were plenty of groceries.

The picture below shows my beautiful momma and handsome daddy. I was in one of my many awkward stages (especially in terms of hairstyles), my brother was always doing funny things, and my little sister was adorable. Do you read that Elder Brother Syndrome in what I just typed? Ha! My mother LOVED Elvis Presley and wouldn't miss an episode of "As the World Turns." My Dad, after being a school teacher, bus driver and principal, had just gotten hired as a mathematician at Redstone Arsenal (back when computers took up whole rooms and weren't even as powerful as a hand-held calculator is today). We never missed church -- Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and Vacation Bible School -- unless we had a high fever, measles, mumps, or chicken pox. Times were simple and very, very good. Not much money, but so much love.

Just a couple of years after this picture was made, my Dad was asked to move to Troy, AL to become the Asst. Supt. of the Alabama Baptist Children's Home. He accepted the job. We made this drastic change, and that season will be described in another blog on another day.

My teenage years took place in Troy. Again, another blog for another day.

I started wanting to attend Samford University when I was in about the 9th grade and heard about a wonderful piano teacher there named Mrs. Betty Sue Shepherd. I LOVED my time at Samford, and Mrs. Shepherd had a profound influence on me. That season is definitely worth a whole blog.

While home from Samford one Christmas, I met Steve Pearson (I hope you read my tribute to him in the 40th Anniversary blog I wrote), and not many months later, the Newlywed Season of our lives began. It was another lean season in terms of money. We had a student loan, and I made $15 a week playing for a small independent Methodist church. Believe it or not, that bought a tank of gas and a week's worth of groceries. On Mondays I taught piano lessons to two young girls, so on Monday nights we went to Burger King and then played pool at the Auburn Student Center for a penny a minute. We were so much in love. We had NO IDEA we were just barely makin' it. Definitely, it was one of those Savored Seasons. Ahhhhhhh.

Then, reality time came with graduation from college for both of us and the time for starting careers, getting a mortgage, and making babies. Take a look at these cuties. Didn't we do a good job?
My youngest daughter posted the well-known verse from Ecclesiastes 3:1 on her Facebook page recently. "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." I'm not exactly sure what prompted her posting on that day, but I can guess because I was once in a position similar to hers. Young children, lots of runny noses, constant visits to the pediatrician for ear infection re-checks, scraped knees, many nights with sleep interrupted by bad dreams, throwing up, or coughing, etc. etc. I just had 3 children in 5 years. She has 4 little girls and is almost 7-months pregnant with a baby boy. There are innumerable great moments that happen during those years when you are rearing little people to be successful adults, but it's tough on your body, your nerves, and your patience. I've only heard of 2 women in my life who made it through the years of rearing a lot of children (one had 4 and the other had 8) without raising their voices. To this day I am in awe of Mrs. Sam Boster and Mary Quinn.
Only one of the children was a teenager in the above picture, but shortly thereafter, all three of them were teenagers. Once again, there was weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth -- both by them AND by Steve and me, but if it were possible, I would wave my magic wand and have them all at home again. There was constant activity, drama, and a stream of friends. Food was always involved. It was about this time that many churches were building Family Life Centers. My husband's famous words were: "The kitchen table is the REAL Family Life Center." Almost always, we had supper together at night with the television off. Now we were often interrupted by people who had problems with their dogs or cats, but we waited many, many nights until Steve got home, so we could eat together. A memorable season, indeed.

One by one, the children started leaving the nest for college. My wise friend Angie said, "Connie, you'll cry every day for about 3 weeks, then you'll be okay." She was right. I really hated having my chickens out of the nest and quickly learned how to e-mail -- which was much cheaper than long-distance calling. But, about the time I started enjoying going to the grocery store and buying what Steve and I liked rather than what the children or their boyfriends/girlfriends preferred, they came home for a weekend or for the holidays or for the summer.

From the Fall of '92 when the oldest headed to college until December of '99 when the last one got married had to be the most EXPENSIVE season of our lives. But, again, in retrospect, we wouldn't have had it any other way. And, after all, what is money for anyway?

Now, we've been Empty-Nesters for 10 1/2 years and grandparents for almost that long. This season suits us, too. There is so much to enjoy about watching our children be such thriving, successful adults and about playing with and delighting in our grandchildren. Once again, I almost wish I could stop the hands of the clock and just stay at this stage for a very long time to come.

But, I know that other seasons are ahead. Ones that may be the most challenging of all. I haven't been through these stages yet, but I've had a chance to watch my Dad and Steve's mom bravely face them. Losing a spouse, aging, failing health. Those don't sound like a lot of fun. I have to just trust God to give me the grace I will need when these times come.

As a compliment to my mother-in-law, just recently she has had to move into an assisted living facility because of health issues. How hard that must be to go from a comfortable 3-bedroom house, to a 2 bedroom apartment, and now to just one bedroom, a bathroom and a closet. This latest and probably greatest change has been met with determination, optimism and a very positive attitude. She is embracing life, meeting new friends and making herself look attractive and participate in new activities whether she wants to or not. We are very proud of her. I hope my children will be able to say the same of me one of these days. I pray that I won't go kicking and screaming into the times of transition that are inevitable between now and the end of my life.

In Ecclesiastes 3:2-8, there is a great list of occasions starting with the words, "a time to___." I want to be caught engaging in the best items on that list: planting, healing, building up, laughing, dancing, embracing, sewing, speaking, loving.

I trust in God who is Sovereign, who loves me, and who orders all the events in my life according to His purposes. Romans 8:28

So Much for Calm, Quiet Mornings

I admit that I was dawdling this morning. I woke up long before I GOT up. My mind was hard at work, but my body was still at rest -- something I had dreamed about being able to do before I retired. After three solid weeks with a full calendar, this was a rare morning to just slowly fix a bite of breakfast, look over the grocery list (gotta get that senior discount at Publix on Wednesdays), and clip a few more coupons while still wearing my pajamas. Since I have committed to Reading the Bible Through this year, I have been disciplining myself to finishing the designated passage before turning on the computer. Toward The Word was where I was headed when the home land line rang.

When the home phone rings, I'm pretty sure it is either a telemarketer, someone from the church, or my sister-in-law. Today it was Barbara, the music secretary at our new church. It was 9:10 a.m. She said, "Connie, the regular pianist for the senior adult choir is sick. Could you possibly come and play for them this morning?" I said, "What time?" She said, "They start at 9:45." My first response was that it would be virtually impossible because I was pajama-clad and it takes 20-25 minutes to drive from my house, but my second thought was, "Well, I'll be a few minutes late, but I'll hurry."

I don't know any racing terms, but "putting it in high gear" comes to mind. Off went the pajamas, on went the shower cap (no time for shampooing), a quick rinse off (also no time for shaving my legs), then drying off while finding something decent to wear (decent being a very relative term). Bare minimum make-up and a little hair teasing were next, followed by putting in contacts (I can't wear my glasses while playing the piano -- long story for another day), brushing my teeth and applying lipstick. My mother trained me well. No daughter of Mildred Collier's would be caught dead without a noticeable amount of lipstick.

I grabbed up my grocery list, some scissors for clipping more coupons later, stacks of coupons, my glasses in case the contacts failed, and I bolted out the door. The clock in the car said 9:33 a.m.

The first thing I noticed was the brilliance of the day. The bright sunshine and the recent rains made all of the spring colors appear more stunning than ever. Green grass, yellow forsythia, white and pink dogwoods, and the diamonds sparkling on the river made me ever so glad that I was outside to see it all.

The car radio caught me up on the morning news, traffic, and weather, plus a few minutes of "Rick and Bubba" had me chuckling as I drove. I quickly found a parking place and rushed inside. When I walked into the choir room, spontaneous applause erupted. There sat a roomful of delightful people, happy to see me, and willing to take whatever amount of help I might be able to give them.

If you're not a musician, you probably don't understand what it means to sightread a folder full of music. So let's just say that my brain got a great workout for the next 45 minutes. These folks were working on some impressively challenging pieces of music. No 4-part, hymn-style music in 4/4 time for them. No, sir. These were selections they will be performing in a festival coming up next month with complicated rhythms, harmonies and melodies. And, they were SO AFFIRMING to me. I can't remember the last time I was encouraged and appreciated to such a degree. I am very sorry their normal pianist was sick, but I was glad to have this lift to my day. And the hugs when we finished were such a blessing. Several of these folks remembered my Momma and asked about my Dad. You just can't beat that.

With a fully-gratified heart, I went to the grocery store, sat in the parking lot to finish clipping coupons, saved $72.43 on my total bill, and drove home to find one of our neighbors going a few rounds in our yard with his lawnmower -- obviously realizing that ours must be broken (which it is) and Steve must be at work (which he is).

I don't know how a day can get much better, but here I am with a couple of hours before heading back to MY choir practice. I have time to put all the groceries away and tidy up the place. I have time to type out my thoughts about how my interrupted day turned out so much better than I could have planned. And, I have time to thank God for my new home, my new church, my new retirement opportunities, and the time to acknowledge how blessed I truly am.