After two weeks in a row of cataract surgeries for me and Steve being the sympathetic caregiver and designated driver, the tables were turned yesterday when he had oral surgery, complete with general anesthesia and the need for gentle care and attention. Today he's still on soft foods and is feeling below par.
My Man is usually in high gear. He works long hours at the veterinary clinic. He spends his days off doing yardwork and outdoor maintenance. And, on Sundays, he's up early putting the last touches on the Sunday School lesson he teaches to young married couples at church. In addition to all of that, he's the "go-to guy" in our family for advice, wisdom, guidance, comfort, kindness, and love. There are many people who need him -- among whom I am the first in line. It is unnerving when he's not going at his usual fast pace and when he shows any signs of weakness.
We have dodged some big bullets in the last few years. While we were in Ecuador, he started having suspiciously high PSA results and endured a couple of biopsies done on his prostate. But, it wasn't until we'd been back in the States for a year, that a cancer diagnosis was confirmed. He was able to go to one of the top Urology Centers in the US and had surgery in the fall of 2007. All of his PSA tests since then have come back showing no signs of a recurrence. Praise the Lord. If there is such a thing as a "good kind of cancer," then that is what Steve had. My dear friends Martine, Talitha, and Thalia were not so fortunate. Their husbands of many years got the bad cancers and diagnoses and died. Steve and I could have so easily been in that group.
Two summers ago, about a month before we moved into our new house, Steve rapidly and alarmingly developed a double strangulated hernia and had to have emergency surgery early on a Sunday morning while everyone else was at church. We were so grateful that our long-time friend and one of Steve's former fellow deacons was the surgeon on call. The Hand of God was all over that crisis.
This week has given me yet another reminder of what a treasure Steve is in my life and of how much I cherish him. We've been doing a lot of thinking and planning, as he approaches retirement, about what we want this stage of our lives to be like. We've spent years making careful financial provisions and plans, knowing that we aren't guaranteed even another twenty-four hours, much less the longevity and good health of my great uncle who lived to be 99. (Uncle Bonnie is a story for another day, but just for a teaser: He drove himself back and forth from his home in Michigan to Alabama a couple of times a year until he was in his late 90's. He stayed active in his church and community and even had "a lady friend" during his last years. He was the quintessential positive person and a joy to be around).
Steve and I want to enjoy each other, still exploring new places and always learning. We want to savor moments with our children and grandchildren. We want to laugh and listen to good friends. We want to invest time in endeavors and activities that have eternal significance. We want to do everything under our control to stay healthy and to dispel negativity in our thoughts.
Proverbs 5 is a chapter devoted to instructions and warnings from a father to his son. This father was particularly focused on getting his son to stay away from sexual temptations that would cause him to be unfaithful to his wife. Read all of it when you have time. For now, look with me at verses 15-18.
"Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth."
While I am preparing some tasty soft foods for Steve today and making sure he takes his medicines on time, I am sure that God is reminding me to "enjoy the HUSBAND of my youth," to make the most of everyday, to remember what a privilege it is to have him alive, grateful that he'll be back up to his usual top speed very soon.
If you want to be inspired, touched, and encouraged, go to www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6pX1phIqug and see a wonderful testimony by Robert McQuilkin about his thoughts on caring for his wife. Have a Kleenex handy.
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