When a Woman Has a Daughter

Probably a more accurate title for this blog would be "When Connie Had Laura and Julie," but somehow I think the themes may apply to more than just what I was dreaming and thinking, so I'll keep it as it is and you can tell me later if you understand.

My children were born before the days of 4-D sonograms and ultrasounds. We got blue things and pink things -- just in case. My husband, who grew up with only a brother as a sibling, somehow thought babies only came in boys, so I couldn't even get him to seriously consider possible names for a girl baby until four days before Laura was born!! I was thrilled and deeply relieved when the doctor announced that we had a girl. See? I told you this was back "in the olden days." A girl. I was a girl, so surely I could be a mother to one. Right?

Laura was named for my mother's best friend growing up, Laura Jean Brookshire, who Mom always described as beautiful in the many stories I heard about her. We chose Katherine for her middle name because it sounded so regal and could be versatile, if necessary -- Katherine, Kate, Kat, Kitty, Katie, depending on how her personality shaped up. You get the idea. When Julie came along 4 years and 50 weeks later, we chose Julie because all of the Julies I'd ever known were wonderful young ladies, and the Rose part came from my mother's maiden name.

Laura Katherine and Julie Rose. Feminine, solid, promising names, don't you think?

Since I've always been "on the prissy side," I assumed they would be prissy, too. I fervently hoped they would be musical, knowing that their Dad's musical claim to fame is his ability to "play the RADIO." :) Much to my delight, they were wonderfully gifted in that area, so besides our gender and genes, we shared another great bond.

They grew up with winsome personalities and delightful femininity. A woman's dream. Or, at least MY dream.

Two important visions took shape in my mind during those years. 1) Being the Mother of the Bride -- with all the rights and privileges of that status, and 2) Being the One My Girls Would Turn to First When Their Babies Were Born. Now I also had a son, don't forget, so I clearly understood the distinction of being the Mother of the Groom and of being the mother-in-law when the babies arrive. But, I must quickly insert here that Katie is the World's Sweetest Daughter-in-Law, and her mother is one of the nicest ladies I've ever met.

My daughters' weddings were spectacular, if I do say so myself. :) With careful planning, I really believe that they were both able to have the day of their dreams WITHIN the budget that we set for them. I absolutely basked in my role as Mother of the Bride both times -- which turned out to be a mere 10 months apart.

Then, the babies started arriving. Julie, who is proving to be an overachiever in that department, gave birth to our first grandchild -- A GIRL -- in 2000. She and her husband and precious Allie Grace actually spent their first few nights out of the hospital at our house, which was a special treat. That sweet baby slept just a few inches from my face during those nights while Julie got some much-needed rest upstairs. I helped Julie learn to bathe Allie, mix formula, and change diapers. Just what the maternal grandmother is supposed to do. Right?

When Laura's first child was born, I was living in Ecuador. Isn't it amazing the twists and turns our lives can take? She and her husband specifically wanted their first few days home with Nathan all to themselves, and that was totally understandable. Different set of parents. Different ages. Different personalities. But, we worked the timing so that I flew in from Ecuador just as her husband was going back to work. I stayed with nearby friends at night, but as soon as I walked into Laura's house each morning, she gratefully handed Nathan to me and headed to her room to sleep and replenish her energy. In both cases, my daughters trusted me implicitly, and it felt so, so good to be needed and to be something of an oasis to both of them when they were just learning this awesome new role. They were then and have continued to develop into exemplary mothers. Our grandchildren are very fortunate little people. "One of these days" they will understand just how blessed they really are.

But, here's the rub. I've never seen the movie "Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events," but that's a great way to describe what happened a few weeks ago when our 9th grandchild arrived. Once again, I was the maternal grandmother, but I did NOT get to be "The One My Girls Would Turn to First When Their Babies Were Born," and I admit I've been pretty bummed about that.

It has taken me awhile to come around to the right perspective, but I think I finally have -- a much better place for me to be emotionally and spiritually -- so NOW I can blog about it.

Steve and I now have 4 grandsons and 5 granddaughters! The blessings just keep multiplying!!! I'm a big believer in having bonding times with these children individually and in small groups. That is where I choose to concentrate my energy. Cousins Camp 2011 will begin on Sunday, July 17th. Steve and I have been planning that week for months. We can't wait. That will certainly merit a blog or two as it unfolds -- or once I can move my typing fingers again after it's over.

I've concluded that bonding times don't just happen, especially since our children don't live very closeby. They have to be planned and savored as the opportunities present themselves. In the picture below, you can see Julie's daughter Maggie, along with Matt's sons Luke and Seth, on each end, and their 2nd cousin Trace. This was made last November when we were in Auburn for the Georgia game and then stayed to hear Matt preach at Lakeview the next morning. Luke, Seth and Maggie will be at Cousins Camp, along with Allie and Nathan.
Another grandchild doesn't know it yet, but she NEEDS some time to bond with Grandmomma. Megan Rose, Laura's daughter, will be coming to North Alabama to stay with her other grandparents while Nathan attends Cousins Camp. I can't let a grandchild come this close and not have some special time with her, now can I? So, Megan and I will have a couple of days and nights together BEFORE the older kids arrive. I think we need to make cookies, go shopping and have a tea party. Don't you?
Look at those gorgeous blue eyes -- both mother and daughter. Enough moaning over what should have happened that didn't. The best antidote is recognizing that I've got grandchildren to love and enjoy. Little Megan (above) lives in Ft. Smith, Arkansas -- 9 hours from Athens, AL. This child is a gift to our family, and I want to know her and delight in her. See you soon, Megan. You and Penelope will be old enough for Cousins Camp next year. And, Rosemary and Sam will be close behind. Where are my vitamins? Maybe I'd better take a double dose!

The Bible says that "Grandchildren are the crown of old men" Proverbs 17:6a. If I had written that Proverb, I would have added . . . "and old women." For today, I think I'll just stop after the word "crown." GRANDCHILDREN ARE THE CROWN. Yep. That's it.